Everyone is entitled to an irrational fear, right?
Like take Acerophobia- Fear of sourness. It’s irrational, what could a Warhead or lemon do to you, force you to make a stupid face which would promptly end your life?
Well, maybe.
Or Dutchphobia- Fear of the Dutch. If the Dutch were known for something scary like a heat-sensing laser pistol, this fear might have some sort of foundation. But the Dutch don’t have a heat-sensing laser pistol. They’re Dutch. What are they going to do, hit you with wooden clogs and drag you to their windmill and put tulips on your grave?
Venustraphobia- Fear of beautiful women. This one is actually pretty legitimate, they’re trouble.
Chorophobia- Fear of dancing. This makes me think of the fear of public speaking - you just have to do it, there’s no magic trick to making this fear go away. You either pull a Napoleon Dynamite and dance it out, or you... don’t.
Thaasophobia- Fear of sitting. I don’t even know how to sarcastically mock this one, all I can think to say is: “BUMMER.” Because it’s hard to eat Thanksgiving dinner standing up, and it’s probably even harder to do laying down.
My point is: we all have completely irrational fears (even if you don’t, pretend for a moment that you do, then I’ll feel less ridiculous) that are not based on evidence or reality or anything that remotely make sense. But the fear is real.
My fear is irrational enough that it doesn’t even have a name.
Putting-your-car-in-neutral-and-being-pushed-to-your-doom-phobia?
Huge-black-spinning-things-coming-at-your-head-phobia?
Water-everywhere-only-separated-by-your-cheap-1995-Thunderbird-window-phobia?
NO-WAY-OUT-IF-ANYTHING-GOES-WRONG-IN-THIS-CAR-WASH-phobia?
And it’s been like this for as long as I can remember. There have been no tragic car wash deaths, no car destroying events, nothing even going remotely wrong to happen in my life whilst in a car wash.... and still the fear exists and remains.
Proof: when I was 16 or so, I made the mistake of videotaping myself going through a car wash.
This is a bad idea, but you can watch it here.
This blog has no point, I just wanted to explain my Facebook status to Lindsey.
Wooo shout-out at the bottom. How did you know I would read this?
ReplyDeleteAnyway, thank you for the explanation. I figured something like this when I read your status updated.
A. I think of a carwash like a giant dishwasher, not necessary but less messy and more convenient.
B. You think your scared? Take a Jack Russel Terrier in the carwash with you sometime, you'll feel much better.
C. I would advise if you still don't like them to do the self serve (kinda fun, especially in the summer) or the brushless (better for your car anyway.)
Also, I have to post this as anonymous even though this is obviously Lindsey, however I didn't have any of the other things you could log in under.
Cheers Jazz!
You brighten my day.
P.S. I don't think they have an irrational fear for:
DRIVING-ALONE-IN-THE-DARK-SEEING-CAR-PULLED-OVER-WITH-FLASHING-YELLOW-LIGHTS-SOMEONE-BLOODY-JUMPS-IN-FRONT-OF-YOUR-CAR-AND-I-HAVE-TO-MAKE-THE-DECISION-TO-STOP-AND-HELP-THIS-POTENTIALLY-HURT-PERSON/SERIAL-KILLER.
(^Thankfully this hasn't happened.)
I also have a slight case of Chorophobia.
Okay, the end of my rant.