Tonight, walking up the driveway to my house with leash and dog in hand, I decided to actually open this door.
This is the door to the shed on the property next to my parent's house. If you've ever been out to my house, I'm sure you've noticed it, because my dad hasn't yet found a way to get our lilac bushes to grow into an adequate divider and vision-blocker (think: Berlin wall). Maybe it's the expired Pepto-Bismol pink color or the endearingly dilapidated fence, but we've never found the view particularly appealing. Nobody lives inside the shed or the house in front of it, and nobody has for a long time. I have vague childhood memories of people living there, and even of being inside the house. I remember watching movies and eating delivered pizza, and noticing for the first time that the little white things they put inside the pizza box look like tables for very small people, or mice.
Let me step back and mention that I've mentioned the shed door in my mind a hundred times, each time finding some new illicit drug growing in the floorboards or rogue bandits planning their next heist.
But even though the house and shed have been empty (allegedly) for years, and I've looked at that door every day of the 20 years of my life, I've never opened it.
So tonight was the night that I actually saw the door for what it was, something I've always wondered about but never committed to exploring. There was always a better time, or a better pair of shoes, or a better soundtrack.
Until tonight.
I'm not sure what I was expecting. Maybe it was some Narnia-like moment of opening the door and discovering fairies and living garden gnomes inside, or a secret treasure, or even just some old relic that reminded me of my childhood.
A strong tug on the latch gave only resistance - I used both hands only to find that it still wouldn't budge. I peeked into the crack behind the door to see... more wood. The shed had been boarded up from the inside.
To ward off any attacks on the anticlimactic-ness of this non-adventure, I will address the "point" of this blog.
Sometimes the door to your next adventure doesn't open, and that's okay, because that just gives you more time for another one.
I feel like I'm in a place in my life where I could go in a dozen different directions and open a hundred different doors, and I know that statistically not all of them will open. I want me to know that it's okay, because there are other doors. I think I want you to know that, too.
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Also. I saw Titanic for the first time (!!!!!) in the theater last week, and it was definitely life changing. Especially Leonardo DiCaprio, who deserves a high-five for being so classy and talented. This experience was so moving that I'm now inspired to do two things.
(1. Watch every movie that Leonardo DiCaprio is in. I'm beginning tonight with This Boy's Life, and am accepting offers from anyone who wants to watch Gangs of New York with me.
(2. Do something before the age of 23 (which is how old Leo was when during the filming of Titanic, fun fact) that will make me memorable. Maybe not movie-poster and fan club memorable, but something worth talking about in 20 years.
