No Shave November: A Love Story

I love beards.

Let me just confess that, right off the bat, so it's not some secret I'm hiding behind my back, switching it irritatingly from my left to right hand to make you guess. Beards. Love 'em.

So No-Shave November (a month-long holiday in which men do not shave, in case you weren't aware) makes me pretty happy.

I feel like I should clarify this, my love of beards, so that whoever reads this doesn't think I have some sort of fetish for mountain men (or mechanics?).

But before I do that, I'll announce that I in no way endorse women celebrating No-Shave November in any way, shape, or form. Seriously, that's disgusting.

So, beards.

From a purely analytical standpoint, there are a few good reasons for this odd love. The first is that the first beard I ever saw was my fathers, which technically wasn't a "real" down-to-the-chest kind of beard, it was just a week or two of stubble.

But I loved it.

And I think I loved it because he loved it. And I think that's because when he skipped shaving, that usually meant that it was the weekend, or some kind of break from school, or summer. So he was happy and relaxed in his beard, which made me feel happy and relaxed as well, looking at his beard.

Then I saw beards on my grandfathers, uncles, and eventually on my cousins. Usually my family is a fairly well-kept bunch, but there are always times when the urge for a beard exceeds all reason. Again, those are times when they're happy and relaxed.

Also, they always seemed to be doing manly things, like barbecuing and chopping down trees and making fools of themselves in order to make their wives smile, they're getting up early to make breakfast for the family, and they're driving and listening to talk radio.

Beards. They make me smile.

Of course, there are always exceptions to my beards-are-awesome rule, things that make beards significantly less awesome. Those include, but are not limited to:
(1. something living in the beard
(2. a case of the beard making the man look like a drug dealer, pervert, or possible assassin.
(3. a beard that exceeds acceptable length and can therefore double as a carpet
(4. a smelly beard.
(5. if the beard has been colored or waxed, it is at least 60% less awesome, but braids increase awesomeness by 15%
(6. if there is a possibility of getting lost in the beard, it is awesome only from a distance
(7. if the beard is used to hide an unforgivably large beer belly, it is stripped of it's awesomeness

But that's basically it.

Here's another brilliant argument for beard-growing: http://www.biggerbetterbeards.org/

An article on No-Shave-November: http://www.jzkretail.com/general/no-shave-november-men/

And another awesome article: http://www.lsureveille.com/entertainment/no-shave-november-popularity-growing-nationwide-1.2051734

http://www.no-shave-november.com/